3 day weekend

Short week in hell this week. Got out early the last 2 days. And now i'm off until monday. woohoo.

Presents and gifts. I bought myself a new drawing book today, so that was cool. Yesterday I ordered a book on building different bicycles, maybe to get some inspiration for all the parts I have laying around. When I got home today there was a package from connecticut. Stacy, from the Troll's diner group, sent me a few things for my Scooby Doo collection. And my oldest brother sent me a new electronic dart board. I was just looking at one this morning at the store, guess its a good thing I didn't buy one. Now I just got to get the thing hung on the wall.

Shaggy

Christmas card art

This is the art I finally decided on for this year's card.

Didn't miss much

Today didn't turn out as I had hoped it would. And I ended up sleeping through most of it. I had hoped to get to see a friend, but couldn't get a hold of her. And I didn't have any other reason to go outside and freeze.

I should get off of here and go work on that. And also do some scribbling in my journal. I want to try and come up with a poem for my one friend, but haven't had any good ideas yet. I wrote her one a couple months ago, but it was really short and wasn't all that good, but she liked it.

I managed to finish the one drawing I did for my best friend's mother, I probably could have taken that over to my friend, but am waiting until I finish my christmas card to do that. And this morning I started working on a new idea, for this year's card art, which is the third change I have made. I usually only give out a couple of cards anyway, most people I just say "merry day and all that stuff" because I don't feel like giving them anything.

I also had a thought of how to do another self portrait idea. I read somewhere once that if anyone said they couldn't draw, they should try doing a self portrait, because those are the hardest to do. Or something like that. I told my pen pal from japan that last year and she drew one in colored pencil that looked almost exactly like her. Which was cool. I have done a couple of them lately when I have no inspiration for doing anything else. Some of them I like and others................

Shaggy

All is somewhat well

First i want to say thanks to Mary for being the only one to comment on the last rant I posted here, and also posted other places, and sent out in a few emails. I have been checking out a few other ideas, but can't afford to get into anything new right now. So, I have spent the last few days doing more writing and setting at the drawing table working on a couple things that were requested from friends.

I had been feeling a bit low lately. But i'm over that. No problems. Just as I promised my.....um.....friend the other day. She kept asking me what was wrong, I was so quiet. More than normal. But nothing was wrong, it was just one of those days where I wasn't really paying attention to too much, especially my own thoughts and inner demons. She got me smiling again for a while and I haven't thought of too much other than that the last two days.

Shaggy

Figuring stuff out

Well, all I have been doing the last few days is setting with my journal and writing a whole lot of nothing. And making lists of stuff. I've made so many lists, changed them and added to them. Scribbled stuff off them. And finally gave that up to turn to the next blank page where I proceeded to..............start another list.

I've been thinking more lately about how I am too hard on myself sometimes. Some people would actually say all the time. But i'm finally getting the thought past all my inner demons and voices in my head so that I can actually see it myself. I don't know why I seem to do that. The last few days I have been up, down, tired, not quite mad, and wondering about things.

I have been happy lately, more so than I have been in a long time. But last weekend I was not so happy because I wasn't sure about some thoughts that were going through my head, and also when I would see a special friend again. But I did get to see her and talk to her so I was happy again. And now I am back to being bored and thinking about myself. And of more lists. Oh joy.

My imagination has been shut down temporarily due to technical issues lately. Mainly because of all the other stuff in my head. I have been telling myself I want to draw more, and write more........just haven't actually done it yet. I am sometimes afraid of letting my imagination free, just because of some of the thoughts I have throughout the day.

And I do sometimes finding myself not really working on something I want to finish just because of wondering what people might actually think about it. Or at least thats what my inner demons tell me. I read something somewhere about how an artist should not worry about what people think of his work, as long as he is happy with it. At least i think thats what it said. And I usually don't really worry too much at all of what most other people think. But, there are a few people though, that I know here and some I met online, whose opinions I value. And its always good to hear what they have to say, whether its good or bad.

Shaggy