Halloween

Ah, my favorite holiday, and I haven't given it much thought lately. Haven't seen too much halloween stuff around here yet. Just simple little things that brought no excitement whatsoever. I don't know what i'd want to do this year.

I wouldn't mind decorating the yard, but its illegal to plant bodies on stakes and let them scream into the night. And I don't know if i'd want to put up much anyway, with all the stupid kids around this town that would probably mess with stuff. Maybe i'll get some stuff and decorate my room this year. I haven't done that in a long, long time.

Shaggy

Sadness and the death of furniture

Today started out bad, as I had to go to hell and didn't get out of there until alomst noon. And it was not the greatest day because I have had the words of a young friend stuck in my head since yesterday afternoon, but that is something I am not sure I want to forget. So, I needed to work out some frustrations and also make some room up here, so I decided to do some rearranging. After moving the drawing table back in here on tuesday I now have moced it down to the other end of the room. It changed places with the bed.

In order to do that I had to remove the old, almost worthless, recliner. I remember when we dragged the thing up the steps my dad told me that if it ever went down it was going down in pieces. So, with the help of knife, wrench, screwdriver, and big hammer, I took the time to not so carefully destroy said recliner and make little pieces out of it. That helped my mood a little bit, but not as much as i had hoped destroying something would.

I told a friend this morning, one of my last remaining friends around here, that I could almost feel my old dark self returning to take its grip on my black heart. In some ways I don't mind that it would happen, but in some ways it would not be the same as before. No matter what happens I have the thoughts of the five best hearts I have ever known that will keep me from losing control to my dark side as I had done for so long.

My mother told me that if I was to lose someone, I should go out and find someone else. Not going to happen, and not just because its not that simple. Especially with my tiny little problem of hating people. I suppose I will be a little better once I get the thoughts of wanting to rip people to little shreds out of my head.

Shaggy

Some days..........

There are days, and even moments, when I just want to tear people to shreds and laugh in their faces as death takes the life from them and they burn forever in the black pits of hell.

Can you tell it was a bad day? I got some bad news todays from some friends, but I don't know any more at the moment than I did then. I won't go into deatils about it, but lets just say that if what was supposed to happen, happened, then my dark side may come back to try and take total control of my black heart and soul as it used to be.

I know I don't want to go through that again. Went 20 years the first time. 20 years of caring for nothing and nobody. Not even myself. Setting alone here in my room not caring if I ever left. Not wanting to even do anything but scribble weird things and write poems about rivers of blood and sun baked flesh. I definitely don't want to go through that again.

Shaggy

Been neglecting my page

I probably should have put something here the last couple of days, but I guess I just didn't feel like saying anything. Last night I was on here for almost three hours and all I did was send emails and check some photo pages out looking for reference material to draw something from. Didn't really see anything that would inspire me though. But most of the stuff I saw I didn't really pay that much attention to because it was about 2:00 a.m. and i was practically falling asleep in my chair.

Not much to say about the boring non life from the last two days. Just work and sleep is about all i've been doing. I started working on my lunchbox and for the moment, until I decide to add or change something, it has some somewhat "sexy" drawings of Daphne and Velma from Scooby Doo on there. And a skull with an iron cross coming out of the top of it. Thats on the front. I wil hopefully come up with something new this weekend to add to it before next week.

I may, or may not, rearrange my room a little this weekend. It depends on how tired I am. Tuesday I brought my drawing table back in here, keeping a little homemade table in my spot in the art and craft room, and brought my leather office chair back in here as well. I moved my recliner and put the table and chair back over by the TV where it was before. One reason I brought that back in was to try and stop falling asleep in the chair so mauch as i have letely, but last night I went to watch the truck race and fell asleep setting almost straight up. Thats the first time I ever fell asleep in that chair before.

Shaggy

Another view

This is the view we had going towrds turn one. The logo on the grass was messed up because that is where a coupleof cars ended up before the race was over and they dug it up pretty good. This was when they were getting lined up for the race, but hadn't finished qualifying for Sunday's Cup race. If i ever get the chance to do this again, i'd like to have more notice. Its kind of hard to make sure you take everything you want too when you have to jump out of bed and rush out the door, dad told me today he thought after I left that I should have taken his other camera as well. I got there in time to get a good parking spot, all the places around the track were charging $20 to park in their yard. The adventure was getting out of the parking lot, but that didn't take too long.

Race track

Only on for a moment. Its been a long day. Here is a shot of the view I had of turns 3 and 4 of the Michigan International Speedway today. I got free tickets to the NASCAR Busch Series race and I went down there with a guy from work. With getting a little lost, from not knowing where I was going, it was a round trip of about 208 miles. And i was gone about 13 hours or so. It was a great day. I also got some good video, but missed the wrecks that happened in front of us because of dead batteries.

Shaggy

Sin city and sleep

I bought the Sin city movie tuesday morning. For some reason I was awake before 7:00 a.m. tuesday morning and had breakfast and a shower and was headed to walmart before 8:30. I got there, got the movie and a couple other things I need, like sticker paper to work on my lunchbox, and was back home not long after 9:00. I watched the movie in the afternoon, as I had nothing else to do, and I thought it was pretty good. I have never read the comic book. But I like the movie.

I looked at flat screen TVs while I was at walmart the other day. Not the nice hang on the wall , really expensive, kind. Just a regular 20" flat screen tv for about $124. If I could actually, somehow, save up some money I wouldn't mind getting one for my birthday next month. ha ha

Wednesday I got home from hell and after dinner I fell asleep for about 2 hours. I had set the alarm for just before 8:00 p.m. and when it went off I reached over and shut it off. I rolled back over, and then figured I should actually get up, so I sat up right after the thought, but not really as I was soon to notice. When I sat up and opened my eyes it seemed darker than it should. I looked at the clock and it said it was a little after 10:00. I didn't even notice I had fallen back asleep for another two hours. I got up, checked my email, and went back to bed and actually slept most of the night until the alarm went off about 6:00.

Shaggy

Not so bad weekend

Well, for the first time in over a month I anaged to not sleep through most of the weekend. Saturday I managed to doodle some scribbles, plus work out details for a cartoony style drawing of a friend. I hope she likes it, I haven't heard from her. Sunday I got in the truck and went for a ride. I stopped at a little park that my best friend showed me last summer and took a couple new pics. I probably wouldn't have went anywhere, but this was the first weekend in a while that it wasn't around 90 degrees outside and too humid to do anything but sweat.

I stopped to see my dark angel and spent a while with her and the family. I flipped through some pics of them and got some nice ones to put on a DVD I am making for them. Some of them they don't know I took. hehe. But we sat around for almost two hours talking and joking around. And I got a couple new pics of my friend while I was there. She doesn't really like having her picture taken, but I get away with it once in a while.

Didn't really do much else this weekend except watch TV. I hate movies that can look so good one moment and then the next moment is such a cheap, and easily recognizable fake scene, I mean when you watch a movie and can so easily tell that you're looking at a model train instead of a real one, or a "helicopter" looks like a yo yo on the end of a string with a tail added to it bouncing up and down, its just not that interesting to watch anything like that.

I managed to make a couple small notes in my journal also. Not much of anything really. Just a few notes about my non life.

A batman lunchbox

Last night i went out and bought a Batman lunchbox, I wanted something to carry me snacks and whatever in. I read an artyicle in a gothic magazine about customizing a metal lunchox with paint and whatever and thought I would play around with the idea. Only problem is, the only place to get a plain square metal lunchbox is online. But, last night I found a plastic one at walmart in the back to school stuff. First one I have seen in a long time that didn't have raised lettering or whatever on it, this one just has a sticker on the front. So, once i get the sticker off I can paint it and/or print out my own stickers to put on it. Something along the lines of skulls and maybe a devil girl or something. Whatever. I plan on doing all my own designs, unless i find something interesting someplace else. And I may, or may not, switch the plastic handle with a piece of chain.

Shaggy

Just playing around

I had to take a new pic for my mother, so I thought I would mess around and see if I could come up with some kind of self caricature thing.

Ren Faire

I had not planned on doing much of anything today, except maybe to go visit my best friend. Who was not awake when I stopped over there. Oh well. But, last night I was reminded of the Ren Faire that was going on today, run by the group that my friend Heidi belongs too.

So, after lunch I got in the truck and went down, they moved it again this year over to a park near a small lake. Didn't see much of the lake though. But that didn't matter. I got to see my friend Heidi in her queen outfit and talked to her for a couple minutes.

I watched a pirate comedy show, and the adult costume contest. And before I left I was wishing I had had a lot more money. One guy even had a sword from the Kill Bill movie signed by David Carradine. He had a lot of really nice swords, he said they were made by a chinese company that sent people over to japan to learn from the masters how they make them. He had one he was showing off that was really very sharp. He said if the swords had been the actual japanese originals they would probably go for $600 to $6,000.

I watched a little of the archery competition, and saw some live steel swords fights. And looked at some cool leather armor. Not bad for the $8.00 charge to get in. I didn't buy anything at all, but I had a good time anyway. Even though it was another hot day and I ended up getting sunburned again.

Shaggy

My little world of hate

Over the weekend I had begun thinking of reworking the little fantasy world I keep in my head. Mainly because I hadn't thought about it in a while. And the last couple days have reminded me that a little fantasy is better than reality any day. And I had to figure out how to expand my little world further to have room for more bodies.

In this world there are basically three kinds of people:

Those that should be hung on a stake in the front yard.

Those that should be skinned alive to see which one screams the loudest.

And those that aren't worth the effort of dealing with them because they suffer enough with their own stupidity.

It is a rare thing to find someone that goes beyond those three categories. But I have found a very select few. And they know who they are. I think.

There are people that wonder why I always seem to be off in my own little world on most days. When I am not talking to anyone, or if I say anything, not really saying anything at all. Just mindless chatter to get through the day and away from certain wannabe people that think they are so great. I had to buy a new little notebook to carry because the last one I had got filled up, I finished filling the last three pages and all other available space in the book with dark thoughts and scribbles before the first break we had today. And now my dark angel no longer works there, I did get to see her and her one daughter after we got done, so there went the only real reason I had to be nice while I was there.

And after a long day of hell, I came home and blew another light bulb. I hate that. Especially since I am all out of 100 watt bulbs, which is what I use in my room and the one that always seems to blow is at the other end where the tv is and is the darkest end of the room anyway.

My room is painted in two colors. This end is plain white. The other end is a dark red color. The whole thing would have been red, but I ran out of paint, and the week that I painted it it was almost 100 degree outside and in so I wanted to get it done as soon as possible. That was two or three years ago.

It was supposed to get around 95 degrees today. I don't know if it did or not, but with the humidity it was a pain. They said on the radio that tomorrow was going to cool down, with a high of 88. Maybe down to 80 to 82 this weekend. How nice.

Shaggy

Another hot night

It has gotten pretty hot around here the last couple days again. Its still hot here in the room right now. Good thing i'm not setting in my leather chair, or i'd probably be sticking too it.

I did go out once today. The fantasy cartooning book I ordered the other day came in and I got the call this afternoon. SO, I went out and got it and got back here as fast as I could, about 45 minutes or so round trip. It was definitely worth the $9.95 I paid for it.

I actually started working on a new idea this afternoon. I still have a few details to work out on it. Then I can get down to cleaning it up and decided if it will be worth the effort of finishing it or not. There are still piles of papers in the other room, filed away, that are waiting for me to decide if I am going to finish them or not.

Shaggy

George Carlin

Yesterday when I was trying to wake up I turned on the TV and saw the last few minutes of an interview with George Carlin that was done sometime last year. He talked about comedy, acting, and how there is no theme to what he writes.

I checked out some pages this morning that have some quotes by him. They were pretty interesting. I've always liked the guy, he does some cool stuff.

Anyway, its monday morning and the sun is shining at the moment. I think its supposed to get hot again today. But i'm not sure on that.

I did manage to put a few scribbles in my sketchbook last night, before falling asleep in front of the TV. Nothing special. Just trying to work on some cartoon faces. I can never seem to get the eyes to look the way I want them too.

Shaggy