Realizations and lost dreams
As I have had not much of anything to do but be sick this weekend, which maybe was not the flu but my screwed up gut getting blocked up again, i've had time to think on a few things. Figured out how most of what little drawing i have done lately has been for others.......not myself. Things I have written, like poems and such stuff, for others.....not myself. The dream of ever being with someone that could love a freak like me.....shot to hell. Maybe not. But not important at the moment. Having a little hope can be a good thing........when said hope has to do with never seeing most of these useless people around here ever again. Realizing that as boring as this town, this area, and the places I always end up around here being partly the reason my creative energy has gone by the wayside, i've given up thinking about such things and started getting back to letting the fantasies fill my head. That is working.....sort of. But that too must be given time to rebuild. Also being able to put words into thoughts that actually make sense takes time as well.
Watching drag racing in a little while is a good thing. And can't forget Family guy.
Shaggy
posted by shaggy @ 8:14 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
Ya know shaggy I don't know you to well and what little I know of you is from what I read but you seem like a nice guy. I just hate seeing someone so down on themselves. First of all your not a freak and in my heart I think there is someone out there for every one of us. Believe me I never thought I would find anyone who would be able to put up with my weirdness. But you are young and have alot of time to find someone. Now if you feel like where you are is sapping your energy and you can't do anything to get out of said situation then all you can do is make the most of where you are. I know this is good advice cause people have been telling me this same sorta of stuff for as long as I can remember and I know that just like me you probably won't use it. But I wanted to say it anyway.
Thanks Mary. I've been told i'm nice, among other things. I believe it some times. There isn't really much around here to make much of. The only thing in this worthless little plot of land is a couple of bars, a harley dealer, and a gas station. And the new tanning salon next to the post office. The junk shop has been for sale for months and grain elevator makes enough noise to be annoying at times. I've been thinking about taking day, or weekend, trips around the state. But need gas money fot that. But would take the camera and video camera with me to see what I could see.
That sounds like fun. We went to an old mining town here in nevada one time and found a cave hidden waaay back inn the desert. We went in and got half scared to death from the bats . lol but it was fun.
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